AfE Boycott: Tulsa, Oklahoma

I have a virus. Every time I click on any link it redirects me to a site selling homes in Tulsa. Why the hell would I want to buy a house in Tulsa? Why would anybody? Apparently the geniuses in Oklahoma thought a good strategy to jump start their housing economy would be to infect people's computers with viruses that make it almost impossible to search for naked pictures of Erin Andrews. In response I'm starting a nationwide boycott on buying homes there, and implore you to follow my lead and never move to Tulsa, and if you do not to buy a house there. I hear the Tulsa rental industry is booming, which is strange considering they haven't turned to using computer viruses to push their agendas. Screw Tulsa.

This was the best I could find.

Early morning meetings are terrific.

The dark clouds they hang
foreboding and warn us
The traffic it creeps
in the drizzling rain
The man in the khakis
and dress shirt approaches
It's for coffee with two creams
this morning he came
He sits and he stares
at the nothing before him
They laugh as they chat
excited and blind
He knows of the beating
that will last through the hours
Just waiting for five
and with it sun's shine.

AE Fishing Expedition - Day 5 & 6

*sorry for the lapse between updates on the fishing expedition. I guess I got a little sidetracked mourning the end of summer as I know it and prepping myself for my annual immersion back into the world of working for a living.

...The next morning we awoke early and drove through the day towards base camp and the promise of endless strikes of the cutthroat trout that we had traveled hundreds of miles and hour after hour of road to feast upon. It was July 3rd and I looked forward to celebrating the fact that my forefathers had fought to win my freedom and independence. Unfortunately, not everyone saw things my way, i.e. this freedom hating asshole.

As darkness began to fall some of the towns of Southwest Montana got a head start on the 4th of July celebrations that the rest of our nation would be celebrating the next day. The drive was beginning to get long but I had fishing poles, a gun, plenty of ammo, and enough fireworks to destroy any structure I could build with sticks and fill with G.I. Joes. Nothing could get to me.
When the sun came up the next morning we finally came across the landmark that assured us that we had reached the final checkpoint to our destination. After five days Bridge Lake laid only a short ten miles away. Uphill. With over 60 pounds strapped to our backs. And through some other circumstances that we could have easily came across if we had not left on our voyage from North Texas to Montana with 35 minutes planning. Unfortunately we'd learn these details 9 1/2 miles later.

Meetings

Oh meeting time, oh meeting time

These hours I deplore

To sit and listen to people who

Wish to hear themselves some more

Oh meeting time, yes meeting time

These hours I can't stand

To know there's nothing you can do

But listen to the man

And sit and stare

And hope to see

The hot new girl

Who's dressed in pink

Or sit and draw

Play on my phone

New bubble-breaker record

Of 804

Oh meeting time, oh meeting time

There's nothing you can do

Oh meeting time, yes meeting time

I guess that I am screwed.

I fucking hate meetings. Sorry mom, I really shouldn't have used that word. I motherfucking hate meetings. The past two weeks I've had to sit through over eight hours of them a day and it's beginning to turn me into a terrible person. Typically I start my days just tired and grumpy and crescendo into considering increasingly harsher crimes, beginning at the simple assault of elderly women and getting much worse as the day progresses. A few years ago I began trying to combat these feelings and attempting to make these hours more useful by drawing pictures and writing poems or songs. Unfortunately they usually take the tone of the grandmother beating psychopath I described earlier. I'll try to share some more of the better ones in the next few weeks.