Video of the Week

Back when MTV actually played music videos there were some videos I loved but that was over 15 years ago. I had a hard enough time using wikipedia to remember the details of Teen Wolf. Either way, I can't remeber a video I thought was as good as the Bowerbirds video for 'In our Talons'.

Vampires and Werewolfs

By now it's pretty much a fact that women (and girls) in the all-important 12-36 female demographic loves both werewolves and vampires, especially the ones with great abs and basketball skills. This has been true since the dawn of the 80's when Bram Stoker began dreaming up the ideas that would transpire on to the pages of Dracula in 1897. Almost 100 years later my older sister would fall in love with Michael Emerson, who moved with his single mother to Santa Carla, a coastal California town plagued with gang activity and unexplained disappearances, only to be baited into becoming a half-vampire by a young Jack Bauer, back before he was into preventing major terrorist attacks on the United States and saving civilian lives both and government administrations. Even today fourteen year old girls laugh at me because I don't think the plot of 'Twilight' is very believable. Personally, I'm more of a fan of Scott Howard.

Scott and I had many things in common as of 1985. He as seventeen years old, and sick of being average and wishing he were special. His father ran a local hardware store, while mine was a local mailman. Scott played basketball for his high school's team, the Beavers, with a not-so-good win-loss record, while I played for the Eagles, with an equally not-so-good record. The girl of Scott's dreams, Pamela Wells, was dating Mick, a jerk from an opposing high school team, the Dragons. Mine was Lorie Griffin, the actress that played Pamela, as well as stints as Bonnie Reed in Cheerleader Camp, 2 episodes of 'Highway to Heaven, another episode in 'Charles in Charge', and a career-defining role as Kenneth's receptionist in the made for TV 'Seduction: Three Tales from the Inner Sanctum'.

After another of the team's losses, Scott began to notice strange changes to his body. Don't get me started on my junior year of high school. While at a party, Scott kept undergoing changes and eventually returned home to undergo a complete change and become a werewolf, while his father demanded that he open the door. Things were a little different when my dad demanded I opened the door but you get the point. If only I could have wolfed out I could have led the Eagles to the conference championship game only to decide to play the game as my true self rather than the wolf and stand at the free-throw line with the title in the balance as Mick stood under the basket staring me down. I really don't get it when people laugh when I argue for Teen Wolf as the greatest sports movie of all-time.

Fall

Just posted a new playlist, Fall. It starts with Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes who I've been listening to a lot. It also has a song from the Where the Wild Things Are soundtrack and a one from the new Avett Brothers album. It's been a pretty strange fall so far. I was pulled over the other day while talking on the phone to my mom. It's never cool telling your mom you have to let her go because you're being pulled over, and it only got worse. The officer was very polite, but became visibly flustered at one point during the stop. He also asked for my phone number, explaining it was necessary because I had a CDL. He let me off with a warning, giving a quick wink before leaving me to wonder what the hell had just happened. I used to be jealous of women that could flirt their way out of tickets but am really giving that some second thought. I think it's time I shaved my mustache, it's not having the effect I hoped it'd have.

Video of the Week

Here's a video by the Local Natives I found on My old Kentucky Blog (myoldkyhome.blogspot.com/) You can't go wrong with a single-take video, plus it's a cover of one of my favorites. Check out the site, it always has great stuff.

Songs for September

Sorry, it's been a while since my last post, I've been wrapped up hunting snakes and growing a mustache. I just added some songs for September, or at least songs from September. Most are songs I've been listening to in the past month, others are from the last summer and kind of fit in the list. My favorite right now is 'These Old Shoes' by Deer Tick, but the list also includes a couple songs from Blitzen Trapper I've been playing a lot and a cover of my favorite country song ever. Be sure to check it out.

Living the mustached American lifestyle

It's that time of the year again. As the leaves turn to brown and my upper lip begins to chill in the cool fall breeze, my mind always turns to the greats. Men like Keith Hernandez, the Mario Brothers, Robert Goulet, and Adolf Hitler. Many could argue the greatness of them as men; Hitler is one of the most evil men in history and the Mario brothers have brutally murdered millions of turtles; but nobody can argue the greatness of their mustaches.

Gary was always such a lucky bastard

I'm pretty sure I've helped Mario kill more than 6 million turtles and mushrooms myself.

For those looking for more information on what was voted the most stylish facial hair of 1976 check out the American Mustache Institute at americanmustacheinstitute.org/Default.aspx. It includes history of the stache, different styles available to your upper lip, and even an opportunity to nominate someone (probably someone other than Hitler) for this year's Mustached American of the Year.

Check back later for GandR's newest film short, the Evolution of a Mustache, currently in production.

Snake Attack

Last weekend I was following my regular routine of using beef jerky or chewing tobacco (Redman works best because of it's addictiveness) to catch perch on a small hook before sticking a larger hook through it's eyes and using it as bait to catch bass.After a while I noticed a small fish that had gotten tangled up in the banks on the far side of the quarry I was fishing, and, being the animalitarian I am, I had my fishing buddy keep an eye on my rod while I went over to help free the fish. I also had him watch my fishing pole, and while I climbing through the weeds he hooked and later lost what he said was the largest bass he'd seen. "Easily five pounds," he said. By the time I reached where the trapped fish had been, it was gone, and I assumed it had freed itself and was getting ready to hit my bait so I hurried back to fish. When I got back the fish was back up in the brush, this time a little further up the bank. At first I thought it may just be messed up on the tobacco I'd been fishing with but soon saw there was a large snake wrapped around it. I went back for a closer look and took these pics. I wasn't as scared as I normally would be around such a large snake (or a small one) and figured it'd have to spit the fish out of his mouth before attacking.

You can see the fish's fin and body coming out the snake's mouth. It's hard to see with the glare but the fish is at least foot long, which means the snake is six or seven feet long.

I showed some experts at the local animal control the picture and they assured me it wasn't the copperhead I though it was and rather a harmless, venomless, water snake. I think maybe that's what they're telling themselves to avoid having to go after it and am in the process of forming a vigilante posse of snake hunters so the women and children of the area can feel safe again. Let me know if you want in, I'm currently taking applications to join my snake-hunting force. In the words of Sir Ernest Shackleton: "Men wanted: For hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, safe return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success."

Cover Songs

I love cover songs almost as much as I hate cover bands. It seems like I can't go anywhere on a weekend without hearing the blaring of some crappy band covering some crappy Van Halen song. As if the original didn't suck bad enough on it's own. Let me get back to my point, I'm saving my "Why I hate Van Halen" post for another time. They completely ruined jumping and wearing tight red pants for me.

I posted a playlist of some of my favorite cover songs ever, I know I'm probably forgetting a lot of good ones. Hope you enjoy - maybe you can get a break from staring at the Van Halen brothers' abs to let me know some of the great cover songs I missed.

Labor Day?

Labor day is great. Unless you have to work on it. I had no idea why we, or most of us, get this day off so I looked it up on one of my favorite websites not devoted to pictures of Erin Andrews, Wikipedia. Apparently it was first passed through as a US holiday by President Grover Cleveland as an attempt to reconcile with the labor unions after he had unconstitutionally sent in the US Army to break up a strike in Chicago that ended with 13 strikers dead and another 57 wounded. Some people also see it as the end of summer, others as the beginning of another football season for sideline reporter Erin Andrews.

Expectations were high for the Chiefs on Labor Day of 1991.

I like to think of Labor Day as my last opportunity to wear white pants. My father, however, ignores any fashion laws and kicks it in white sneakers 12 months a year. I hope everyone had a great Labor Day, enjoy your final days of summer, beginning of football season, or support for your local union, whichever way to choose to celebrate it.

The best thing to come out of my Labor Day this year.

Happy Birthday

Today is my older sister's birthday. I used to give her a hard time about getting older but at 29 1/2 I'm starting to feel her pain. Especially in my hips. I think this family picture says a lot, I love how pissed she looks. I don't remember but I guess she wasn't much of a Star Wars fan. She later got her revenge by dressing me up as a ballerina, which is just one of many strange pictures in my mom's photo album. Another is of my dog Radar feeding a litter of kittens, but that's a story for another time. Here are a couple of the pictures she's taken over the past few years. Happy birthday Brook.

Dublin, Ireland

Mumbai, India

Santiago, Chile

AfE Songs of the Month

I've finally figured out how to put some music onto AfE, and even though it's now September, I've update the playlist.com player located on the sidebar with my top 20 songs of August. Check back later in the month for the best to come out of (or finally be discovered by me) during the coming months.

AfE Fishing Expedition: Day 7

Thinking back at this year's 4th of July, even almost two months after the fact, it's hard to rate it out of my top few, and I've had some great independence days.

The morning started with a five hour hike that was stopped at the threat of a downpour that never really materialized into anything more than a drizzle. Unfortunately this was enough to ruin most of the the normally abundant supply of firewood, but fortunately I was along side a fire builder skilled enough to make Bear Grylls piss himself, and not just because he was trapped in a desert and needed to keep his core temperature down.
The rain held off for most the afternoon and evening, which allowed us to spend the remaining part of the day fly-fishing and holding a shooting competition in which the loser had to take a pull from the flask of Jameson after each round. Whoever said drinking and firearms don't mix is full of crap, I think guns and whiskey make a great combination. Of course no 4th was complete with blowing some stuff up, so as the fire was being built I began work on a mini teepee filled with m-80's and small pine cones. Needless to say the M-80's won the Battle of the Beartooth Wilderness.

As the sun dropped behind the Rockies the sky opened up and forced us into our tents to prepare for our final ascent to Bridge Lake and a meal that wasn't made up a some combination of canned foods. Or so we thought.

AfE Boycott: Tulsa, Oklahoma

I have a virus. Every time I click on any link it redirects me to a site selling homes in Tulsa. Why the hell would I want to buy a house in Tulsa? Why would anybody? Apparently the geniuses in Oklahoma thought a good strategy to jump start their housing economy would be to infect people's computers with viruses that make it almost impossible to search for naked pictures of Erin Andrews. In response I'm starting a nationwide boycott on buying homes there, and implore you to follow my lead and never move to Tulsa, and if you do not to buy a house there. I hear the Tulsa rental industry is booming, which is strange considering they haven't turned to using computer viruses to push their agendas. Screw Tulsa.

This was the best I could find.

Early morning meetings are terrific.

The dark clouds they hang
foreboding and warn us
The traffic it creeps
in the drizzling rain
The man in the khakis
and dress shirt approaches
It's for coffee with two creams
this morning he came
He sits and he stares
at the nothing before him
They laugh as they chat
excited and blind
He knows of the beating
that will last through the hours
Just waiting for five
and with it sun's shine.

AE Fishing Expedition - Day 5 & 6

*sorry for the lapse between updates on the fishing expedition. I guess I got a little sidetracked mourning the end of summer as I know it and prepping myself for my annual immersion back into the world of working for a living.

...The next morning we awoke early and drove through the day towards base camp and the promise of endless strikes of the cutthroat trout that we had traveled hundreds of miles and hour after hour of road to feast upon. It was July 3rd and I looked forward to celebrating the fact that my forefathers had fought to win my freedom and independence. Unfortunately, not everyone saw things my way, i.e. this freedom hating asshole.

As darkness began to fall some of the towns of Southwest Montana got a head start on the 4th of July celebrations that the rest of our nation would be celebrating the next day. The drive was beginning to get long but I had fishing poles, a gun, plenty of ammo, and enough fireworks to destroy any structure I could build with sticks and fill with G.I. Joes. Nothing could get to me.
When the sun came up the next morning we finally came across the landmark that assured us that we had reached the final checkpoint to our destination. After five days Bridge Lake laid only a short ten miles away. Uphill. With over 60 pounds strapped to our backs. And through some other circumstances that we could have easily came across if we had not left on our voyage from North Texas to Montana with 35 minutes planning. Unfortunately we'd learn these details 9 1/2 miles later.

Meetings

Oh meeting time, oh meeting time

These hours I deplore

To sit and listen to people who

Wish to hear themselves some more

Oh meeting time, yes meeting time

These hours I can't stand

To know there's nothing you can do

But listen to the man

And sit and stare

And hope to see

The hot new girl

Who's dressed in pink

Or sit and draw

Play on my phone

New bubble-breaker record

Of 804

Oh meeting time, oh meeting time

There's nothing you can do

Oh meeting time, yes meeting time

I guess that I am screwed.

I fucking hate meetings. Sorry mom, I really shouldn't have used that word. I motherfucking hate meetings. The past two weeks I've had to sit through over eight hours of them a day and it's beginning to turn me into a terrible person. Typically I start my days just tired and grumpy and crescendo into considering increasingly harsher crimes, beginning at the simple assault of elderly women and getting much worse as the day progresses. A few years ago I began trying to combat these feelings and attempting to make these hours more useful by drawing pictures and writing poems or songs. Unfortunately they usually take the tone of the grandmother beating psychopath I described earlier. I'll try to share some more of the better ones in the next few weeks.

Bassmasters Classic Champion

AfE wishes to congratulate Marcus Eckert for winning the innagural Frisco Bassmasters Championship after netting five bucketmouth bass weighing a total of 9.7 pounds including this monster five pounder. Stay tuned to AfE for news of the second installation of Frisco Bassmasters Championsip angling.

El Jefe Eating a Kolache

After watching el Jefe devour a donut so big it was cut out with a bucket (I wonder if they use the middle for softball-sized donut holes?) I was reminded of this video that came from Gandr Productions earlier in the year. Rumor has it that it's sequel is on the way.

AE Meal of the Week

This week's AfE Meal of the Week comes out of Round Rock, Texas, just north of the state capital of Austin. The original, almost orangish donuts are as good as it gets. Feeling the heat of my bag, I wondered if they had screwed up my order, but after tasting what seemed to be directly pulled from the fryer by the hand of God there was nothing to wonder about. Of course el Jefe went with the gimongous Texas donut, which would be enough to hold him over until we could get north and into West, Texas for the Czech Stop and their kolaches.


AfE gives Round Rock Donuts 4.95 stars and 14 thumbs up.

AE FISHING EXPEDITION - Day 4

The next morning we headed west through the Cameron Pass and then north along the Michigan River and into Wyoming. We passed through Medicine Bow and Shoshone National Forests and eventually the peaks of the Grand Tetons began to loom on the horizon. We drove through the Congressionally mandated Yellowstone Park, one of of the countries greatest treasures. Complaining of the traffic and slowing cars soon turned to amazement as we came across this pack of wild buffalo.

A few hours later we passed through the arch of North Yellowstone and soon would be heading northwest through Big Timber, Montana and finally to base camp, deep in the Beartooth Wilderness.

Frisco Bassmasters Summer Classic 2009

AfE proudly brings you the inaugural Frisco Bassmasters Summer Classic, a largemouth bass fishing competition spread over three weekends to determine who is the master of the bass. Check back here for updates, leaderboards, pictures, and much more.

AE Angler of the Week

Over a few hours the last few evenings I have witnessed one man catch and release probably 60+ lbs of fish ranging from many beefy catfish (including one possibly albino catfish that got caught up in some weeds about ten feet off the shore.) to countless sunfish and bluegill caught on custom tied AfE panfish flies that were in turn rigged up to catch monster bass ranging from 3to well over 6 lbs.

AfE is proud to annouce Frisco Texas's own Tim Johannes as the innagural Angler of the Week. This 2 lb largemouth is even a bit of a dissapointment to a big game fish hunter like Johannes.

A fat bluegill caught on an AfE hand tied panfish fly, too big to even be used as bait for the feeding largemouth bassI finally landed this one after missing at least four others that were just as large. Later after I had caught a small bluegill on my fly rod a huge largemouth swallowed the fish. I wasn't able to hook it, I was using the smallest fly I had, but I still had a great time getting my line snapped by huge fish.

AE FISHING EXPEDITION – Day Three

Day three as we headed north towards the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone we made a list of animals we hoped to see10. Eagle (Bald or otherwise)
9. Deer (Whitetail or Mule) a
8. Pronghorn a
7. Pack of Wolves
6. Elk
5. Mountain Goat or Bighorn Sheep a
4. Trout (Brown, Rainbow, or Cutthroat) a
3. Moose a
2. Wild Buffalo a
1. Bear (Grizzly from afar, Brown from close or far, Grolar in any condition.)

AE FISHING EXPEDITION – Day Two

On day two we drove through Fort Collins and turned west, driving through mountain highway 14 and fishing for brown trout along the Poudre (Pooter) River. The water was slightly murky and running hard but wasn't near as cold as it would be in Montana. We stopped at the Mishawaka Amphitheatre on one of the few nights they weren't having live bands that range from Gov't Mule to De la Soul and enjoyed some great fish and beers. That evening we camped alongside the Poudre and left in the morning after a few casts to head northwest through the Grand Tetons and Yellowstone and to basecamp in the Absoroka-Beartooth Wilderness. Hopefully.

AE FISHING EXPEDITION – Day One

Awesome Enterprises has recently looked into the possibility of dipping into the lucrative North Texas fly-tying market and sent two associates on a research trip north through New Mexico to Montana and back, crossing over the continental divide eight different times and pushing close to the point of no return on a 3,500 mile long journey of epic proportions.

...After about 30 minutes of planning we drove about eight hours and pulled into Santa Fe National forest around two in the morning to sleep, waking around six and fished Trout Springs. After a few hours we headed north and into Colorado, driving though the Rocky Mountains to fish along the Poudre River.

Music Video

The song division here at Awesome Enterprises recently took on the job of writing a rockucational tune to help clear up some common misconceptions on contractions (in the literary sense rather than the having had gotten busy 9 months previously kind of way).

However, this was the day after Michael Jackson died and since Jackson is one of the few words that rhymes with contraction the song turned out to be more about him than the fact that using contractions is a great way to save time combining words like it and is.

Look forward to the video that is currently in production by AfE, coming soon.

El Jefe

El Jefe is the guy that the "most interesting man in the world" never forgets to send a Christmas card to. He is also the reason I had to put the " " around his "title", as well as the word title.


El Jefe is the captain, and much like Comandante el Hefe Fidel Castro, the Commander in Chief of Cuba, El Jefe rules his little piece of the world and will continue to for long to come.

Much more will follow on this man of men including pictures, videos, and stories from throughout his time of times.